THE SINGLE LIFE WHEN FOLLOWING JESUS CHRIST

Living a single, moral life is a requirement for all unmarried believers.

There is primarily one challenge that is unique to most single believers in their walk with the Lord... in following Jesus Christ. This challenge originates from one's desire for sexual intimacy and one's desire to please God. We are called to be holy - to abstain from sexual immorality - yet our flesh wars with our spirit in our yearning for the satisfaction of sexual fulfillment. In our singleness, this battle between the flesh and the spirit can be challenging more so for some than for others.

We all must admit that it's truly a wonderful thing when one is called to serve the Lord in singleness for then one can give to the Lord 100% of himself or herself as the Apostle Paul did. For those who do so, the desire for sexual intimacy is not an irresistible need and their singleness is an added asset in their service to the Lord. However, there are others who are not able to do so and therefore should marry. The Holy Bible does not condemn either one or the other.

Let's remember that we are not all the same. Some of us have a high "sex drive" and some don't - therefore, the Apostle Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, said that it is better to marry than to burn with lust. There are some for whom sexual intimacy is not "a major issue" and for others it is... sexual intimacy is an irresistible need that is extremely important for some single believers, therefore for those people, it's better that they marry. As Christians, we must not try to make those for whom sexual intimacy is important, "less spiritual" or conclude that "they are not doing what they are supposed to be doing"; e.g. praying more, fasting, etc. The Lord has already spoken and indicated that some should just marry.

If I am Single and Sexually Intimate with Only My Significant Other, is That a Sin?

Sex with boy/girl friends, significant others, people with whom we have "shacked up"; oral sex; anal sex; "cyber" sex; telephone sex; "straight" sex; "homosexual" sex; pornography - all constitute sexual immorality. Regardless of whether we spend many hours at church, sing in the choir, have a great friendship with the pastor, feed the poor, perform miracles - sexual immorality is not part of a "born again" life. Let us all be aware of this fact - God condemns sexual immorality and no one who practices it would enter the Kingdom of God, as it is written in Ephesians 5: 3-20:

"Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God's people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes – these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is really an idolater who worships the things of this world.

Don't be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the terrible anger of God comes upon all those who disobey Him. Don't participate in the things these people do. For though your hearts were once full of darkness, now you are full of light from the Lord, and your behavior should show it! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. Try to find out what is pleasing to the Lord.

Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, rebuke and expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. But when the light shines on them, it becomes clear how evil these things are. And where your light shines, it will expose their evil deeds. This is why it is said, "Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light."

So be careful how you live, not as fools but as those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity for doing good in these evil days. Don't act thoughtlessly, but try to understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you. Then you will sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, making music to the Lord in your hearts.

And you will always give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

I Am Single. I Desire Sexual Satisfaction - What Do I Do?

Let's begin by admitting that our sexual desires can be very problematic when we are single and desire to please God and faithfully follow Jesus Christ. Let's also admit that many of us have failed even when we wanted to do what is right.

Finally, let us all admit that it is not easy to instantly stop doing what we did when we were not saved. The bottom line is - we cannot do it on our own. We cannot live holy lives based on our own power. If we rely on our own power to "not be sexually immoral", we would not succeed for the duration of our lives on the Earth. How do we do what is right? How do we, as single believers, remain holy as we battle our strong sexual desires?

There are things that we have to do to remain holy and there are things that only God the Father through the Holy Spirit can do for us.

Things that We Can Do:

• Ask God to be baptized with the Holy Spirit.

• Once baptized, walk according to the Holy Spirit.

• Believe that God through Jesus Christ is able to keep us.

• Pray and fast for the Lord's guidance in the choices that we make daily.

• Make all decisions based on godly principles and laws.

• Keep away from pornography, sexually stimulating discussions, alcohol, and drugs.

• Know our weaknesses and keep away from situations that are "tempting"; e.g. dating situations that may compromise our walk.

What God Does:

God gives us the Holy Spirit and is able to keep us from falling if we trust and rely on Him. God causes us to be "born again" by water and the Holy Spirit - that is what He does.

It is a joint effort - you working according to the will of God and His Spirit working inside of you.

What can be said in conclusion?

Yes, it is not easy but we can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens us - this includes saying "no" to sexual immorality when we are single. Remember what we are told in Romans 8: 1-14:

“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin:

He condemned sin in the flesh, that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be.

So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God. But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His.

And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. Therefore, brethren, we are debtors - not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh.

For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.”